What Ho Chaps! Percy here

What Ho Chaps! Percy here ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We spent 5 days in the Coco, just what the doctor ordered,

(last time I saw the doc in blighty she said " A fortnight's fishing on the Shannon Mr Prune, that'll set up, to be sure.)

Then on Monday a big blue 707-400 came in and I hopped aboard sad to leave those nice RAF boys dismantling the fuel systems on their big white bird but I have a schedule to keep, and when I got off at Perth there on the tarmac large as life sat M-ADEE

Once we had rounded up the crew from all the bars and houses of ill repute, we headed out to the east en-route to Edinburgh Field, in a raging blizzard, yes a blizzard in Australia what-ever next.

After two hours, what-ever next, happened. As we crossed between the Great Australian Bight and the Great Victorian Desert just as it got dark all our navigational aids went firstly haywire, and then stopped altogether with the lights going out shortly after, strangely our marker lights, landing lights and radio continued to work, so by dead reckoning and not a bit of luck we limped into Woomera, and as we parked all our gauges and aids came back on-line, I must have brought Murphy with me from the big white bird.

What Ho Chaps Prune here!

Well here I am in the Coco, well, nothing new about that, is there?
sipping G & T and thinking it's funny how things turn out.

Last time we met I had just arrived in Gan.

The next day we set off at dawn in that big white bird, just like before I was invited to sit in the right hand seat and admire the view and soon we were cruising along at 30,000 ft on George, we were playing four card stud and very comfortable when a voice boomed out of the radio.

"Gastruck 50, 26 heavy you' re wanting a fill up, I believe"

I'm pretty sure the lads had forgotten about this rendevous for they started dashing about,I was even asked to move. and very slowly they manovered their nozzle into the waiting hose basket.

All was going well until there was a loud "Pop" and all four engines flamed out together and we fell away to the north loosing height rapidly.

I had visions of bobbing around in a dingy in the shark-infested waters of the South Indian Sea, for weeks on end.

The Eng was ripping off panels throwing switched like a madman, as the skipper struggled to keep this flying brick airborne and on an even keel, we were just passing 5000 we heard an equally loud "Pop" and the engines sputtered back into life one by one, the beast righted herself and clawed her way back into the blue.

Ain't it exciting this flying lark!

"I say steward, we'll have another round of the same, and have one yourself, on Murphy.

Magic Carpet from Karachi

What Ho Chaps! Percy here, Prune by name, Prune by appearance.

Well as you know we came via Karachi but wasn't such a good idea was it?, anyway the idea of being stuck there in the pouring rain reminded me too much of my time as a child in Manchester, and I needed to get away, back into the blue skies.

So there you have it Karachi in the rain or go - I choose go every time.

So while I am sitting in the hotel mulling things over,  I suddenly spotted this RAF chappie come in.

"Hello ol' bean says I"

"I say" says he "It's Prune isn't it, What are you doing here?" I then explain our predicament.

"No problem," he says "We're on a goodwill mission, saying hello to the locals, letting them know the RAF is still here, no matter what they read in the papers, if you want a jolly ol' jaunt your're welcome to join us."

My crew are happy with that "keep you out of our hair" whatever they mean by that I can't think.

"We'll bring the ol' girl along probable see you in Perth - if you're lucky!"

So off goes I, the next morning in the jolly ol' Nimrod, once we are airborne with me in the right-hand seat, I suddenly realised that we are heading south not east.

Tentatively I enquire "I say skipper ol' bean  where are we heading?"

"Gan, Prune ol' boy, didn't I tell you, Ever been there?" , then across to Cocos then into Perth".

It was then that I noticed he looked a bit green round the gills

"I say ol' boy, you have any hours on this beast,?" says he.

"Well sort of" says I " Flew a few trips with John Cunningham in the early Comets."

"That's good" Says he climbing out of his seat, "You have her, I have to make a call down the back, the curry we had last night has given me the hab-dabs, know what I mean" and with that he was gone.

So here I am, up in the blue, flying a big white bird, just as if I did it every day.

Funny ol' life isn't it.

"Tally ho chaps, Tally ho!"

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"Hello Gan, Are you reading me"

"I think the comms are dead,Skipper" say's the Navigator from behind me,

So There you are! Oh what fun , Ain't it great to be alive, 200 miles from the mainland scouring little atolls  for one tiny airstrip.

"What was that?"

"Some wise guy said, he'd left the keys behind the sun visor, then it went dead again".

I try again "This is XRAY VICTOR 226 Heavy, calling Mali Centre."

"26 Heavy understand you wish to cancel IFR, Please confirm?"

"Negative! Do NOT cancel IFR,26 Heavy."

"26 Heavy I have you, turn right 260, reduce altitude to 5000, Airfield 35 miles in your 12 O'Clock, confirm when visual!"

" Say Percy, think you can get this ol girl down in one piece, that curry still attacking my guts, and my no 2 is down the back out cold, being attended to by the MO."

"Skipper"says I "In an emergency anything is possible!".

"OK Gan Tower, 26 Heavy with you 5000 feet to land".

"26 Heavy, cleared to land"

"OK! chaps hang on this could be bumpy:," Ok there's the Glide-slope, Flaps 20, Gear down, 1000, 500 throttle back as we cross the threshold, air brakes out as we touch down, short flair, nose down, idle throttles, now steady brakes as I introduce reverse thrust, back to idle, taxi to parking, pure textbook."

Big cheer goes up from crew "That calls for G & T's all round, Skipper" now where's that blasted key.

Ta Ta for now

Percy Prune

WHERE ARE YOU MADDIE McCANN?

IF YOU SEE MADDIE Contact the Police Imediately!

Ali A and beyond 

Isabella's sister Wanda

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 I spent two glorious years at Gamal Abd El Nasser (RAF El Adem) in the Desert Rescue Team, that was until a certain Mr Gadaffi asked us to leave- pronto.
The airstrip lies just 40 miles south of Tobruq on the way to Al Jaghbub which is a lonely place on the edge of the desolate Great Sand Sea 140 miles south, close to the Eygptian border, on ancient pilgrim and caravan routes. 
It was the seat of the Sunusi religious order because of its isolation. The sect founded a religious retreat there and an islamic university and library in the walled town, sadly now in ruins. The town in dominated by the tomb of Sidi Muhammad ibn Ali al Sanusi al Kabir who lived 1791-1859 the founder of the order. Its gardens still produce the most delicous dates, I know, having sampled them myself. 
I will post on these pages, a tale of an expedition,made by the team but not with me, to find the downed Lockheed Liberator bomber "Lady be good" it was written by the late Zeke Zelany, and I'll post it here for your delight when I can find it.
As I said in my last letter we returned to the Airfield at 06:30 and found MA-DEE in a line-up of six MIG-21's with Russian crews dashing about, strangely no one took the slightest notice of us as we calmly did our checks, taxied out and flew away east.
Eng says the whole wheel is shot, the brakes have welded themselves together and he suspects that we, no rather I have bent to port undercart, He also say's there are no spares and we'll have to wait till they can be sent out from the UK.

Before long we crossed the Quattra Depression, a huge area of salt marshes substantially below sea level, which stretches right across Northern Eygpt almost as far as Cairo which we overflew at 09:00 and soon after turned south following the Suez Canal and then following the Arabian coast as far as Jiddah. By 11:00 we were talking to Jeddah ATC and at 14:54 after passing Doha on our port side and following the UAE side of the Persian Gulf we made a textbook landing at Ali A.

We night stopped here and set off early the next morning to Muscat in Oman. On consulting the Flight Plan supplied to us, I decided mistakenly to go east via Karachi the idea of crossing mile upon mile of dreary shark infested ocean filled me with dread, I once spent 3 days and nights alone in a life raft on a stormy North Sea up by the Fresian Islands.

Well as I said, that was a mistake for sure, for as we made our run into Jinnah International we hit the worst monsoon storm I have ever experienced, and what with the late hour and some charlie playing with the airfield lighting (routine maintenance they said) we burst a tyre on landing.

We are down!- This Runway is very wet

Now to Stop!

Baku Surprise

Part 4    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


You still here, What time is it? 3am OK Still time to continue my tale - where was I, Ah yes I arrived in Baku, well wasn't sure what to do, so walked towards the Terminal it was then that I noticed it had been given a lick of paint since I was last here and was as bright as a new pin. As I went through the door, I spotted Little Natasha, Ivan the terrible and Josef standing inside they were all grining from ear to ear,

"We hoped you'd come we have suprizee." They said in unison, little natasha ran up and planted a kiss right on my lips, the others followed suit except that I managed to deflect their's to kissing my ears, We with you, you come follow us and they all trouped out expecting me to follow "You come, All OK-Yes"

And there on the tarmac was the sweetest little Beech 300 " For you, Special Paint-job you like?"

"I like, I like very much"

So off we went Maddie and Percy Prune, on our adventures and when  my beloved Orion P 3  is in for servicing you will find me in this little lady

Bottoms up!                                                  

Cheers
Percy

Baku Surprise

Part 3    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three years ago, I was undertaking an epic Round-The-World flight sponsored by http://www.Surclaro.com as part of the awareness campaign in the search for Maddie McCann see http://www.findmadelaine.com

I flew out of Waddington AFB to Stockholm then across the Baltic Sea to Helsinki, then across the Gulf of Finland to Tallinn in a Blizzard, when the weather calmed down a bit I headed south-east to Moscow, where we picked up 35 passengers, Russian Army Officers going out on a exercise, we dropped them at Volgograd, and headed for Astrakhan where I was determined to buy a hat.

Here on a little airstrip in the delta of the mighty River Volga, excuse my singing the Vulger Boatman "da da dah daar -- da da dah  daar" - earplugs are optional. I walk into the town see if I can buy that hat.

"You vant a cat?"

"Niet! I vant a hat, eh?" OK OK. Huh! having given up on that, and holding the cat in a small box,, I walk across some railway tracks and that's when I was stopped by a very pretty natasha in a military uniform not familiar to me, with her was her own Ivan the Terrible (Well he smelt terrible to me) he poked me in the ribs with his ancient AK47, I was not amused what with me being a War Hero an-all I told him so too.

This Ivan he demanded "Ten roubles or your wife," had to think about that one. As I waved a 20 under his nose, an ancient Zil limousine pulls out of a side street, six men jump out a shove poor Ivan unceremoniously into the back of the car.

Their leader who identifies himself as Josef, smartly salutes little natasha, offers me a grubby hand while slapping me heartily on the back with the other.

"OK Engliss you back to plane, Yes?" he took a garlicy breath " You take little natasha, Baku Yes?"
Then off they sped off in a cloud of dust, leaving little natasha and me stood in the middle of the street.

"We go Eglissss, OK", says she, its then that despite her delightful smile, she waves a minscule pistol so in my very best Russian I answer "Da, we go" and back we go to Maddie.
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Are you still awake, I wondered  if you had nodded off I'm sure I can hear snoring!

Hey You! yes you in the third row wake up, I'll expect you to repeat all this to the papers if we don't get home.

When we get back to Maddie Ivan and his mates have a six wheeled ex Russian Army truck backed up to Maddies hatch and they're loading crates of scotch into her belly.

"Is OK Englisss?" says little natasha  still  waving her pistol. "Some for you, Yes!"

We taxi out, take off and head to Baku, where the obligatory ex Russian Army truck is waiting on the runway "You stop now!" she says sticking her pistol into my right ear, a little to close for comfort. and true to her word when they are all gone a crate of Johnny Walker sits on the John.

"Let's get out of here I say" pushing the throttles fully open, and we dash down the runway into the setting sun.